Feeling hopeful and fighting dread

27 May, 2026

Progress˙˚°𖤐

Yesterday, I interviewed someone I've admired for a long time. He was informative, inspiring, funny, and handsome¹. I'm starting an interview series just for the sake of it, and I felt like real progress was made. I even have two more interviews over email being done as of this moment.

Patience ‧+˚♡彡

I cried so much that same night. Sometimes, I can't pretend I'm not as empty as I am. There will be days where there's no distraction strong enough. As much as these intense bouts of sadness suck, I know that I can feel intense emotions. It's entirely plausible that one day, I could be overwhelmed with joy.

Pleasure ꒰১♡໒꒱

I'm growing to accept my brain and all its flaws. If shame, feeling behind, and being told I'm not doing enough was as effective as others claim, I would be insanely successful. I love pleasure. Luckily for me, what gives me pleasure (daydreaming, background noise, binging media) can be used as a tool, not just distractions.

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